The Aiman Arif experience.

Date: 23rd October 2006
Time: 0900
Location: The upstairs toilet of Aiman's house
Condition: Semi-constipated

(Doesn't that cause memories of "Its a shit-shat life for us!" to surge through your mind like a can of Limited Edition 100-calorie coca-cola in the hands of 16 year-old late nighters?)

Here I am quietly minding my business in front of a laptop positioned on a chair. A few seemingly happily innocently blissfully disturbing issues have been brought to light like a kid realizing what the "cute anime pop-ups" on newgrounds.com really are, coincidently after Aqram, Aiman, Berlyn, Hafiz, Wai Hung and I decided to name our BlackLight. (Yea, yea. I know. Pun.)

Gus decided to embrace the challenges of Islam because Aiman allowed him to overnight. That's right. Puasa. Little did he know how fun it would be. He started, right after drinking a gulp of water, at 1300. He then jay-walked with 5 other Victorians to the Star LRT, looking like 5 drunken flamingos and a panda. On the subway, the 6 VI Boys met the not-so-almighty MGS Prefect Board treasurer, Nabilah. 20 minutes of puasa-ing must have taken its toll on Gus, because somehow, he remembered Nabilah to be a whee bit taller.

Arriving at Aiman's place, Gus spotted a platter of very tasty muffins...

"Whoa! Cool! Chocolate chip...!

"...D'oh! Argh...puasa..."

His black G-shock watch displayed 16:04 on its liquid crystal display. Gus started to wonder what happened to lunch. It was just about then that Aiman decided to show him the magic of Monty-Python : The Holy Grail.

Bout 2 hours of drifting in and out of sleep, while sprawled on a bed next to a feverish Ibrahim, later... Gus woke up to the, amazing, strumming and the, not-so-amazing, singing of the slightly mushroom-head (tunku tao) hairstyled 1337 Sabah-Anglican-church-educated-guitarist, Mark Sia. Gus could only tell from the silhoutte in the dark and the chinese-accented : "Oi...? Gus? You sleeping ah?"

Gus and Mark spent the next 24 minutes watching Teen Titans, some spin-off of Justice League, when they heard the pleasant yelling of Aiman for them to buka puasa.

FOOD

Gus and Mark rushed down and missed the ending of some time-controlling super villian who gets trapped in a time paradox, the kind of thing that almost makes sense and bugs the johnny out of you. The thirst-quenching blast that came from gulping down Zappy Zapple™ after 6 hours withour drinking felt as wild as a classroom of Victorians cheering when girl-school visitors come touring. A huge bowl of curry filled with tao-fu-pok and fishballs brought smiles to the faces of Aiman, Johori, Mark Sia, Ibrahim, Zaid, Khaidir, Khaidir (no mistake tq very much) and Aiman's round lil' brother. Tomato rice, kari ayam and rendang made the Victorians go into a feasting frenzy... much like how a flock of CROWS fight over a piece of meat. The feeding fest was sealed off by steaming hot apple pie and Walls™ strawberry ice-cream. Adam and Amirul joined in just about then...after spending 45 minutes on the way to Aiman's house. Must have been some buka puasa for them.

The night was filled with guys squeezing into rooms going on friendster and playing the guitar. Gus wanted to join in but was suffocating from the stench of rugby players sweating while looking at hot chicks' profiles. 3 words. Sour, sweaty underwear. Khaidir, the big one, had a guitar string poke into his finger. Most of the mob left after 2230. Those remaining were Mark, Jo, both Khaidirs and Gus. Nazrin was supposed to go back slightly later...slightly later meaning 0530 the next day after his morning meal.

Aiman was *ahem* very eager to meet his partner-to-be of BlackLight, Lianne Letitia Ritchie. If there are 4 things Aiman loves about a girl, its:


1. Her ability to speak english

2. Her intelligence

3. Her sense of twisted humour

4. Her ability to compose songs

If there are 5 things Aiman loves about a girl, then its:

1. Her ability to speak english

2. Her intelligence

3. Her sense of twisted humour

4. Her ability to compose songs

5. Her big boobs

On Gus' advice, Aiman set up his webcam and microphone. Lianne reacted quite well to a face full of blackheads and a stoned expression with spiky hair. Mark was playing a Santa Cruz classical guitar, so the trio sang some drunken songs to Lianne...including "Perfect" "One Way" and "Mimpi yang Sempurna"...only they somehow put in Lianne's name and replaced Jesus with Lianne in One Way.

Lianne, supposedly, enjoyed it and, supposedly, sent them lyrics of a song which she, supposedly, wrote by herself, supposedly, for her last day in school which was, supposedly, going to "make girls tear"...supposedly.

After half an hour of banging cock and talking balls on the over msn and LOL-ing very loudly, Lianne sent them her 100% Hardcore, Uncencored, Steamy, Raw, Harry PotterXXXDraco Malfoy yaoi! Gus did the voice of Harry, Snape and a few other random J.K Rowling spawned fictional characters. Aiman did Malfoy.

This is my forth attempt to post this damn blog. Aiman's laptop is gay. It obliterates paragraphs of blogs just as you click the 'save' button.

"Copy the text first mah! Diu...so sohai wan."

Haha. Fortunately, the Control key is placed in a very, very annoyingly awkward to reach spot. Seeing your half hour of blogging getting replaced by the letter 'c' is not funny. Unless it happens to someone else.

This has been the Aiman Arif experience. In the toilet and in bed.

Hallelujah.